• Sara Coutant

If you can be anything, be kind.

I haven't written a blog in a while and I miss it a whole lot. Since I last published a blog I've moved across the country and I'm now living in Southern California. It's been amazing and terrifying all at the same time. I overestimated how adventurous I am and underestimated the comfortability of familiarity. Homesickness is real no matter how much you love change.



I overestimated how adventurous I am and underestimated the comfortability of familiarity.

I'm learning a lot about myself. The biggest one is that I'm sometimes quiet in new settings, specifically when I don't know anyone but they know each other. I always tried to convince myself I wasn't and would get offended if people described me as such. But since I've been out here, I'll find myself sinking into a shell, a much different version of what feels like "the true me" if you will.


But since I've been out here, I'll find myself sinking into a shell, a much different version of what feels like "the true me" if you will.

It's gotten me to do a whole lot of reflecting on who I am and what it is to grow up. We all know that we change and develop when we're thrust (or intentionally jump) into new settings. I think it's a little scary for most people, no matter how confident or bold you are. It's scary to be a new person, working a new job in a new city while trying to make new friends.


And what's my response to all that been? I've been hard on myself. A lot of thoughts came to mind and a new fear popped up. I was petrified that people would find me boring. As I found myself in different settings and I acted more reserved than I typically did, my mind would race. "What if they think I'm boring?" "What if they don't see how adventurous I am?" "What if I'm not unique?"


As I found myself in different settings and I acted more reserved than I typically did, my mind would race.

It sounds ridiculous even as I'm typing it out, but I'm all for honesty and vulnerability and know I can't be alone in this. I always try to box myself in, to find labels that fit me, and then pressure myself to be that way all the time. The truth is, sometimes I'm just quiet. Sometimes I would rather listen. Most of the time I'll talk your ear off, start a conversation, or initiate an adventure. But sometimes I'm quiet. And maybe that's just normal. I know when I feel the most like myself, I know the people who bring it out of me, and that makes me love them even more.


I always try to box myself in, to find labels that fit me, and then pressure myself to be that way all the time.

And so my perspective shifted. I don't need everyone who meets me to describe me as adventurous, outgoing, funny, talkative, pretty, creative, or talented. But if people could describe me as anything, I would want it to be genuine and kind. No matter if I'm someone's cup of tea or not, if I'm the center of attention or shrinking into my shell, I can still ALWAYS be genuine and kind.


But if people could describe me as anything, I would want it to be genuine and kind.

And then I can rest. Most people aren't thinking about the things I say or do as much as I am. Most people aren't picking me apart or reading into my mannerisms like I do. So I can rest.


And so that begs the question, what's your mark you want to leave on people?


And so that begs the question, what's your mark you want to leave on people?
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