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  • Writer's pictureSara Coutant

Let them misunderstand you.


It's been a little while. In my attempt to release regular blogs, life got in the way and it got pushed to the side. But I'm back and hopefully will be back to writing for anyone who might happen to still want to read. As always, I have thoughts.


I'm an overthinker. I'm sure a lot of you can relate. I've spent years of my life with a racing mind, questioning if people are upset at me, making assumptions about me, or dislike me. My worst fear is thinking I'm friends or on good terms with someone, just to find out they can't stand being around me. I never want to seem rude or ingenuine, and my ever-controlling nature takes over causing worry and anxiety.


I've spent years of my life with a racing mind, questioning if people are upset at me, making assumptions about me, or dislike me.

When I first entered high school, I was pretty insecure and had no idea what I was doing. I remember as time went by, I heard this phrase over and over again, particularly from other girls..."You know, when I first saw you I thought you were mean, but then I got to know you and realized you're actually really nice." I'm not sure if people thought that this would be a compliment to me or if they just weren't thinking about what they were saying, but it was always so defeating to hear.


I heard this phrase over and over again, particularly from other girls..."You know, when I first met you I thought you were mean, but then I got to know you and realized you're actually really nice."

Of course, we all make assumptions about each other. That's a natural part of life. But I don't always want to know all the assumptions being made about me, particularly if someone has already realized that it was false. Hearing this repeatedly really got to me. In hindsight, I'm sure it was only a few times, but enough to cause me to overthink every single reaction.


I saw a little graphic on Instagram the other day that's recently shifted my perspective. It said something to the effect of "My life got a lot simpler once I stopped fearing people misunderstanding me". I loved that. I realized that's what was holding me back.


It said something to the effect of "My life got a lot simpler once I stopped fearing people misunderstanding me".

It's not that I needed everyone to like me, it's that I was so scared of someone

misunderstanding me. I want people to feel seen and loved, so if I said the wrong thing or was feeling anxious and came off cold, I obsessed over the idea that maybe they misunderstood me. It's almost comical the amount of times I would veer back to clarify something and someone would shrug and say, "Oh you're fine, I didn't even think about it!"


It's not that I needed everyone to like me, it's that I was so scared of someone misunderstanding me.

Suddenly, I realized the freedom in that. I can let people misunderstand me. Of course, I want to go out of my way to make people feel seen and cared for, but it's not my responsibility to obsess over what people may or may not be thinking. It's not my job to make sure everyone fully understands me in every single interaction. The reality is that even if I clarify clearly, there will still be people who choose to misunderstand me based on their perception.


It's not my job to make sure everyone fully understands me in every single interaction.

I love who I am and as long as I'm letting the people that I value and trust speak into my life, I can let go of the rest. Let them misunderstand you.


Put yourself out there. Post the self-timer photoshoot or outfit reel. Smile at a stranger or compliment someone's eyes. Reach out to that person that you want to be friends with and ask them to grab coffee. Shamelessly be yourself, and let people misunderstand you. It's your life. Don't waste your time worrying about opinions that probably aren't even true.


Shamelessly be yourself, and let people misunderstand you.

Let them misunderstand you.



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